I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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