Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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