this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
