he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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