At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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