we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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