I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
