Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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