Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
