I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
