# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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