Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
