Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
