What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
