you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
