whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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