Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
