a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
