so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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