dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
