im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
