Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
