rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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