She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
