Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize