I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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