dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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