so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
