if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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