Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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