its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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