ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize