and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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