You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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