I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
