based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
