so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize