Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize