My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
