do herpes really smell.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
