her vagine was all disorganized.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
