I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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