And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
