You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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