He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
