I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
