I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
