anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.