Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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