I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?