My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(