I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize