Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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