I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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