my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize