I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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