I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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