Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
how does that bad decision feel?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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