why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Randomize
