we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
