Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
