i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
