Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
