My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
please come you make the beer taste better
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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