dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
