That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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