Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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