mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize